lady_kishiria: (Virgin of Ocotlan)
...aussi disponible en espanol!

This is a biggie when it comes to dreams trying to tell you something.

I was in a huge house that I've been seeing a lot in my dreams lately. This time, my family owned it and we were going to visit my aunt in New Jersey. We were emptying out the basement of the family-owned house, and I and some of my cousins had become aware, years before, that the basement was haunted but we didn't know why or by whom.

As we emptied out the basement, it turned out that some of my aunts knew that the basement was haunted because they believed their kids, which my own parents hadn't. So we were all taking the contents out of the basement with a kind of grim anticipation since we knew this procedure would bring whatever was haunting out into the larger world.

At my aunt's house, I noticed that things were starting to be covered by a dusty black mold, and this was the taint of the evil. In a drawer I found a canvas, folded up, that when opened turned out to be a very large portrait of a great-great grandfather of mine who had been a powerful and evil wizard back in Mexico. He was dressed as a wealthy gentleman of the turn of the 19th/20th centuries and seated in his library. His curse was the reason for the taint, which started spreading rapidly.

So we started driving to my aunt's house in a van. As we traveled, the taint spread. Even newspaper articles brought up from the basement had this black mold on them and it made them tattered. The same with clothes, boxes, anything we had taken from the basement. The thing was, someone wanted the portrait, so we had to take it.

Eventually the bus broke down and I had to continue on on foot. I was trudging through a creekbed full of slushy snow (the wizard had made the weather bad) and I called upon Thor for strength and got through.

My destination turned out to be a big Anglican-style Gothic church. It was now all full of the dusty black mold. I started holding out my hands and calling on Jesus. One of my cousins came up behind me and asked me why, because I wasn't a Christian. "Because I know it works," I said. Whenever I called on Jesus, my hands lit up and a space became clean. I had cleaned the van, the family memorabilia and much of the church when a cousin said there were things back in the basement we'd left, but we had to get them. I said I couldn't let him go alone.

At one point there was a big religious statue, dressed in robes in Mexican style, in the basement. I held up a rodent skull and began to chant Hare Krishna. At this point in the real world, I started whimpering in my sleep, because I was shouting it through the clenched teeth of sleep paralysis. Steve woke me up slightly and then I went back into the dream.

The cathedral was now clean. I was sitting on the roof. Someone brought a statue of Santa Muerte to me, and her robes were now tattered black moldy lace. I said "Jesus" and her robes became white. She turned into Lafayette from "True Blood", said "Watch me flex!", and flexed her muscles happily. Then she turned into a fluffy white angel with a skull face and flew away.

I moved down to the choir loft. Some people brought me their Bibles and started asking me about God's involvement in this event. I told them, "Well, I'm an atheist, and the Hebrews were originally polytheists, let me show you in your Bible." Suddenly I realized that the Hasidic Jews celebrating down on the floor of the cathedral were dancing counter-clockwise. I ran downstairs and Steve woke me up as I was shouting, "Not widdershins! Not widdershins!" to them since I feared they were about to undo my and my cousins' hard work.
lady_kishiria: (Books)
Despite my doubts, I have nonetheless put the little paperback Bible I showed in a video earlier into my backpack. I'm up to 2 Kings and am finding the Old Testament far more disturbing and alien than ever before. I'm feeling strongly that this may have been Jesus's history--but it's not mine. It may be necessary for understanding the world of Jesus, but the Hebrew god doesn't resemble any deity I want to worship, that's for sure.

As far as not believing in a god goes, I mentioned some months ago that I'm feeling "nontheist" rather than "atheist". I just finished Thich Nhat Hanh's  Coming Home: Jesus and Buddha as Brothers.  Thay Hanh believes that if you're coming out of a Christian tradition and suddenly the idea of what I call the Sky Daddy stops making sense, Jesus provides the way (Dao) to understanding and connecting with God as "Not a person, but not less than a person."  I think much of the gospel of John indicates this; more on it later.  Or hey, maybe I'll just knock out a book of my own.  Wouldn't be my first after all.

I'm still working on the massive Patton bio, and think I'll be able to get that done in the next few days.  I have "Tales of Heresy" from the Horus Heresy 40K series and "Legion" from same.  [ profile] electorprince strongly recommends "Mechanicum" but I haven't had a chance to stop by Borders again and won't now.  He can just send it to me when I get an APO address. :)

Finally I have a "Year's Best Horror" anthology since when my attention span gets froggy, anthologies do the trick.

I've sadly concluded that I won't be able to fit my DVD book into my backpack.  It's not a bugout bag; the PX on Los Al was out of those so this is the next size down.  Or rather I could if I didn't pack PFC Gustavo into it, and leaving him behind to be shipped in a box later is a terrible thought.  [ profile] zeonchar assures me that every female on her flight to Iraq had stuffed animals with them, herself included.  So Steve is ripping copies of my Mobile Suit Gundam movies and 0083 since those are the bare basics that I need as anime security blankets.  Since the MSG saga is almost all out of print now, he's going to do the same with the rest of my Gundam DVDs and send me the copies later.

We feel we should do something now, but neither of us is really hungry.  Still, I've been in the house now for a few hours and remaining here isn't doing my mood any good. 
lady_kishiria: (Pope Happycat)
Seeing as I am in a state of Working Things Out in my personal spirituality, I've decided to make a filter for it. Some of you I know want in ([profile] scinnlaeca, [personal profile] garpu) whereas I have strong suspicions as to who will not.

IF YOU WANT IN, comment below. I'm not automatically adding anyone, including those I know or who I suspect will want in.

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