Sex, gender and pregnant men

[lady_kishiria]

Oh no, here comes the po-mo....



Many of you have no doubt read about Thomas Beatie, the pregnant transman of Oregon:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23482682-401,00.html

First off, yawn. This is old news to the queer-savvy media hound; Matt Rice had a baby years ago. The difference is that Matt and then-spouse Patrick Califia opted not to have their pregnancy in the newspapers. You know, like the rest of us.

Still, there is something that sticks in my craw about Mr. Beatie. I'm a libertarian who is deeply, deeply uncomfortable with female gender roles, and anybody who knows me for about ten minutes can figure that out. Neil Gaiman did a short story about a cancer drug that turned out to have the side effect of changing a person's sex, and the story went on about how it became a recreational. I admit, if there were a drug that would allow me to pick the sex I wanted to be that weekend I'd be a complete pig for it.

Obviously, this gave me a lot to think about on my interminable bus rides home. I finally decided that this was what was bugging me. I have two rules about sex and gender from which I will not budge. Rule number one: There is no difference between men and women outside the biological. Rule number two: Biology is not destiny.

The question that troubles me is, where does biology begin?

That question is largely rhetorical. Thomas Beatie is playing dirty with both rules. He takes testosterone and has had his chest reconstructed, but never had anything done with his female reproductive organs. His reason was "because I wanted to have a child someday".

Now, if you have to bring out *one thing* that defines femininity, having babies is it. Most FTMs have their ovaries and uteroi removed, even if they opt out of phalloplasty. There's a good reason for opting out of it too; it's a crude surgery that leaves one with a phallus that simply doesn't work. Why bother? But leaving everything intact in order to have a baby later is just...well it feels to me like hedging a bet. Matt Rice had to stop the FTM process in the middle because the testosterone was affecting his health adversely and took the opportunity to have a baby. Thomas Beatie's decision feels like cheating.

The idea of changing sex doesn't bother me. However it is a commitment, barring Neil Gaiman's miracle drug. Otherwise it strikes me as being play with gender roles, which is fine, but I think the distinction must be drawn between the two.

I'll say it again. Sex is what is in your pants. Gender is the role you play. I see Thomas Beatie as being of male gender, but he's taken himself out of the running for qualifying as male sex.

Comments

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

I'd want it as a pet, except it'd poop all over the place. Same problem as a flying monkey.

[electorprince.livejournal.com]

My take: sex is what you have in your genes. No matter how much body-work has been done, that Ford is still a Honda. This is just as hollow a show as a so-called beauty pageant.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

Except that genes can be very, very wonky and sex is quite often not a yes/no situation. You'll be fishslapped in the face with this when you finally get going on the biology degree. There was a study done that showed that many if not most people who has their sex reassigned had genetic or hormonal variances to start with. Certainly most of the people I've known who had sex reassignment weren't 100% their birth sex to begin with.

[die-uberfrau.livejournal.com]

In the case of an "infamous" association of mine who is an FtM, he had congenital adrenal hyperplasia, so the hormones were off from the beginning. Many of the FtMs and third-genders I know have PCOS or related conditions. I have PCOS and I can tell you that I am not the stereotypical female, I tend to be somewhat butch esp. if I'm just kickin' it around the house. I don't have the desire to change my gender but I don't feel female, either. I often feel like an androgynous alien. (No, not Ziggy Stardust. Or Siggy Stardust. Er, whatever.)

There's also the case of intersex which happens more often than people realize, babies born with both kinds of equipment.

It's a very, very complicated thing.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of that associate of yours, but I am hesitant to give any details about the people with genetic abnormalities who I know out of respect for privacy.

[die-uberfrau.livejournal.com]

Right. Said individual actually has the information publicly on the Internet on their website and is pretty open but note I did not give names here on a public post.

[catdraco.livejournal.com]

That's why they stopped doing sex tests (for want of a better name) at big sporting events like the Olympics. There were a surprising number of women who'd been born women, had never questioned their sex, and whose genitalia was quite determinate who turned out to be biologically less than determinate.

[die-uberfrau.livejournal.com]

As I have a few trans friends, I've mulled this idea around a bit.

On the one hand, I'm kind of tickled by the thought of a guy being pregnant, even if it's a guy who started out as a girl. Most transpeople feel like they are the wrong gender since earliest childhood, anyway. I remember saying repeatedly as a child that I wished I was a boy and I hated girls, and I still *sort of* feel like that but I've no desire to take hormones and have surgery, however I actively support those who do. I think now at age 28 I identify more as soft butch female-to-third and I'm OK with that. (I will dress up on occasion but I have to be in the mood and right frame of mind to do so.) I wasn't OK with that when my mom was doing my hair for 2 hours and stuffing me into pink ruffly dresses. So, YMMV.

On the other hand, the whole issue is really complex, rather confusing, and I'm still scratching my head. I'm kind of irritated that Beatie was rejected 9 times by pre-natal doctors over moral objections, it offends the libertarian within me. But I don't know what to say about whether or not he can technically qualify as "male sex" after that nor is it my place to even say or not, I am not the Trans Police.

I just hope whatever happens, he is happy and the child has the best life possible. That has to be what counts, the quality of life involved, not whether or not it makes others comfortable.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

I'm not the trans police, but this all just does not sit right with me. There needs to be a line drawn *somewhere*, you know?

I'm also bugged by how public the couple has made this pregnancy. And if going on Oprah isn't a female en-gendering action, I don't know what is.

[die-uberfrau.livejournal.com]

I admit the publicity has really raised my hackles. This is not the first time a transman had a baby. Oprah also tends to do the major cheese factor and sensationalize things. Couple of years ago she thought "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey (he needs to change his last name right now, kthx) was the best book ever, then when he was proven to be a fraud she was all like "OMG WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME". She had Jenny McCarthy on her show talking about how she "cured" her son's autism. Right, whatever.

While I understand Beatie and his wife were denied pre-natal care by nine different doctors and it sucks, and certainly their story is a rare happening, I don't think going on *Oprah* was the best choice of actions.

I dunno. I don't really want to get into my opinions because it's not all a black/white good/bad thing... it's quite complicated. Once again, quality of life... I hope all involved are happy and have the best quality of life they can since they're going through with it.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

Yes, but they eventually got a doc to see them through this (and since we have no public health system, it's a doctor's right to say, "This squicks me, I want nothing to do with it.") and that was WAY before they went on Oprah.

The other thing bugging me is the whole way they're acting entitled. No one has the "right" to a child. No one is "owed" one. Children are not commodities.