Even Kishiria sometimes wears a dress.

[lady_kishiria]

Today I'm wearing an ankle length denim skirt. You know what? It's dang comfy. I can run for the bus in it and everything. You know what's the only thing I don't like about it?

It makes me look like one of those Christian modesty/femininity ladies.

I've been ranting on and off about how these ladies are crackpots, but never come up with a seamless explanation for why they drive me up a wall as much as they do. A large part of it of course is how THEY live this way and demand we must ALL live this way. Then they complain about straw-woman feminists who they allege want to practically make being a homemaker or wearing a dress illegal. They're too dumb and brainwashed to realize that they're doing the exact same thing, but on the right not on the left.

Next comes the "perpetual child" side of things. Even though I have renounced and denounced Candy of http://myblessedhome.blogspot.com, I cannot fault her when it comes to saying, "Look, we can't use our femininity to make excuses for being weak or ruled by emotion." She's a nut otherwise, but she does have it correct there. On the other hand we have Colleen Hammond at http://colleenhammond.blogspot.com saying things like, "It's sure complicated being a woman. It must be all those hormones." Then she goes on to say that women shouldn't play sports (muscles are not attractive), wear pants (those are male garments), work outside the home, or anything that would give a woman a place in the world as anything but a perpetual minor.

Finally there's http://lily-maiden.blogspot.com who earned my ire in her next-to-latest post by saying that my rough language compromised her g-rated blog. (For the record I said "boob".) She's 20, home-schooled, still lives with mom and dad, doesn't have a paying job beyond giving violin lessons, and dresses in this weird Little House on the Prairie style--except that Ma Ingalls and the girls dressed to be able to work outside. Claire and her sisters go on camping trips with their family and sit patiently at the campsite while "the boys" do all the hiking and rock climbing. Mustn't be unfeminine, you know! Her whole blog is a freak show; no self-respecting dude is going to show any interest once it's clear she's not allowed to date. She won't meet a husband in college because college "isn't in the Lord's plans for her". I do wonder what will happen when her parents die and she's left with no skills, experience, or idea on how to function in the real world. And I thought *I* was raised like a veal!

Claire's clothes (she does a series of photos of how she dresses) brings me to my last point which is on how all these ladies idealize a past that never was. Notice how many of them feature pictures of Victorian or Edwardian ladies doing leisurely things like reading, gardening and sewing. They think this illustrates how things used to be in a more genteel time.

What are they smoking? Only a miniscule number of women ever lived like that! The rest were working on farms or in factories, owning perhaps two dresses, labouring away 12 hour days, six days a week! Sitting around being a pretty lady was a distant fantasy, since few would actually own a book or a garden.

They say they feel sorry for women like me. I say to them, grow up.

Femininity is a ROLE. It's a role that some play more comfortably than others; I am not very comfortable with it but I'll put it on for fun once in a while. I think the world would be boring if all women were clones of me--something I wish the Christian Ladies would learn to be able to say.

Comments

[cinchntouch.livejournal.com]

One of the churches that I go to have children who are homeschooled. They all dress in these funky clothes and look strangely pale and malnourished.

I don't think I have a problem with homeschooling philosophically, but it seems that in reality it attracts the nutjobs. I mean, if you're Catholic than what is wrong with parochial school?

They give me the creeps.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

More on homeschooling below in my comment to scinnlaeca...

[lady-chapel.livejournal.com]

Parochial schools aren't necessarily better than public schools. My junior high years in my parochial were pretty much bullying non-stop. Couldn't wait to get away from it. It's was a big part of the reason I walked away from the Church when I was a teen.

[cinchntouch.livejournal.com]

I went to public school. Sorry to hear about the bullying, I thing that can happen anywhere. I know a few people who were bullied in private school. I don't think the vast majority of parents who homeschool, though, are homeschooling because of bullying. I am talking about the ideological folks.

[lady-chapel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I definitely agree. It can happen anywhere.

[lady-chapel.livejournal.com]

Another thought about this is that they essentially don't believe Catholic parochial schools are Catholic enough. I don't think they are either but not for the same reasons. These are the folks who think parochial schools have been overtaken by "liberals" and "liberal agendas." That's why they home school.

I suppose cost might be an option for some as well. Catholic schools are getting damn expensive.

[cinchntouch.livejournal.com]

I read a cute quote in the latest NPR, the browner the church in the US gets the poorer it gets. I wonder though, for most of its history the US Catholic Church was poor immigrants and up and comers. I think the need to see how parochial schools can better serve all the church is called for.

Mom, alas, couldn't afford parochial school, so I have no idea what I am talking about.

[patgund.livejournal.com]

"Her whole blog is a freak show; no self-respecting dude is going to show any interest once it's clear she's not allowed to date. She won't meet a husband in college because college "isn't in the Lord's plans for her"."

Obviously her father isn't doing his duty to find her a husband to cleave on to. After all, that IS how it's supposed to go with that mindset, isn't it? Daddy makes all the decisions, and the final decision is who the poor mindless little girl is supposed to be helpmeet and maid to. After that, her role is to attend to her husband's requirements and pop out a quiverful of little snowflakes.

[die-uberfrau.livejournal.com]

To play devil's advocate for one teensy thing (so to speak): I was home-schooled for my last couple of years of high school, because I was getting the shit kicked out of me every day and nobody in a position of authority was doing anything about it. My mother could not afford private school, as we were "white trash", but she knew she had to do something or I would either kill myself... or something else. (This was pre-Columbine, mind you.) My grades went back up, and I still had some friends I saw from time to time... that being said, most of the people who homeschool their kids, and most homeschool graduates (esp. the ones who have been homeschooled their entire lives), wouldn't know reality if it bit them on the ass.

For the rest... *wild applause*

I wear skirts also because they're comfortable, and in SoCal summertime you either have the choice of looking like a hootchymama or wearing loose/flowing clothes if you don't want to die.

Unfortunately, my mom's extended fundie family are/were (living ones are; dead ones "were") very much into that whole "Christian femininity" paradigm, and part of the reason why I got an exorcism performed on me as a teenager was because I was already expressing feminist ideals; I didn't want a man to take care of me, I wanted college and a career. My life has taken the turn of where I am now actually a housewife (but looking at employment from the home), however it is not for everyone and I still cringe at uber-feminine froo-froo crap especially when it's used to keep women thinking themselves powerless *and* used to manipulate men or other women. Gah, I hate that.

Paganism looked very attractive to me as a teenager in no small part due to the "Christian femininity" crap spewed at me by my family, *but* I figured out after awhile that the labels may have changed but the game hasn't. If women want to honor the Goddess and have womens' space, that's great, the thing is, I got lambasted for taking a male patron Deity and I've found a lot (not all, mind you... not all) of so-called womens' circles to be just as catty and oppressive as the stuff they're supposedly trying to work against.

Notice how many of them feature pictures of Victorian or Edwardian ladies doing leisurely things like reading, gardening and sewing. They think this illustrates how things used to be in a more genteel time.

And you know, gardening is *work*. You don't wear a ruffled petticoat to garden, if you're doing it properly. I don't know about you, but my nails get dirty. Oh, heavens! *big eyeroll*

Anyway... just wait until *my* blog finally comes out. Hee hee hee. ;P

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

I'm not blanket-condeming homeschooling. mahogany is homeschooling and selenite and his wife celticdragonfly are planning to when their kids are old enough. Furthermore, I once saw an episode of "Law and Order" which gave the sensible reason of, "Our local public school is awful and we can't afford private school." What more reason does a sane parent need?

Unfortunately (you knew there was an unfortunately coming of course) for every sane set of parents there are who knows how many BATSHIT ones who homeschool because they can't stand the thought of t eh ebil, ebil world getting to their precious babies. The Catholic homeschoolers are famous for this, as cinchntouch mentioned. The Duggars homeschool for this reason as apparently did lily-maiden's parents. The fruit is always the same; an adult child living at home because they are utterly incapable of taking the first step out of it.

[die-uberfrau.livejournal.com]

I figured you weren't blanket-condemning it, and I'm not trying to say "all homeschoolers are evil" because I'd have to brand myself with that... oh, wait. ;P

But what you said; I've met young adults who were homeschooled their whole lives, still living with Mom & Dad, and unbelievably sheltered. Actually... I dated someone who was, once upon a time, which is a story I'll tell you privately one of these days for the lulz.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

Can't wait!

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

Yes, but selenite and celticdragonfly are rational people. They want to expose the kids to the rest of the world, and not keep them indoctrinated into a narrow, narrow path.

Once upon a time, in San Antonio, I worked with a guy who had been homeschooled. By (I'm guessing IFB) Baptist missionaries. One of the places they lived when he was growing up was Romania. Not that they were ever allowed out to play with the other kids.

Then, he went to Bible college for 5 years. Majored in history and poli-sci.

Then, he joined the Army. The active-duty Army. He had NO social skills. No sense of personal space. (I spent one huddleup meeting with him literally breathing down my neck.) He picked his nose in public at 25.

He was every bad argument against homeschooling in living breathing form.

He also came to 2 military functions with his epaulets on his dress blues BACKWARDS, but that's also a story for another time.

DV

[lady-chapel.livejournal.com]

I used to mock homeschooling until I read The Underground History of Education by John Taylor Gatto (http://www.johntaylorgatto.com) last year. Now I can understand the point of some people who want to home school. I have less respect for teachers' unions than I do for homeschoolers, even the wackier ones.

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

A large part of it of course is how THEY live this way and demand we must ALL live this way.

This is it, exactly, what irks the hell out of me. Also, check on the idealized past people. Remember when Laura was trudging to school through the snow in These Happy Golden Years to go teach the kids school (when she boarded at Brewsters') or when she was feeding the animals, and helping Pa build the haystack so he could get more work done? Yet there are people who think Laura was a "bad example" because she wanted to help her father. As I recall, Ma didn't necessarily want the girls to HAVE to work outside quite so much, but she knew they didn't really have a choice.

Femininity is a ROLE. It's a role that some play more comfortably than others; I am not very comfortable with it but I'll put it on for fun once in a while.

It's a much broader role than they want to allow for. That's my problem. I fail to see what's NOT feminine about jeans and pants designed for women - I assure you, I have yet to be mistaken for a man. Even in my baggy uniforms.

So linking to this.

DV

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link. I haven't read "Happy Golden Years" yet, actually, but I do recall those other scenes you mention. The Prairie Muffin website (click on the "christian taliban" tag) says they don't recommend the Little House books because they are too "feminist" (i.e. they point out what I'm saying about the hard lives of 19th century women).

[desert-vixen.livejournal.com]

I think Happy Golden Years is one of the best, but that's because it's got the fun romance AND Nellie Oleson gets upstaged.

Another reason they probably they didn't want to recommend the Little House books is because Laura feels confined by the female role. She constantly expresses the wish, even as a little girl, to wander, to roam free, to not have to sit quietly and do girl things.

DV

[lady-chapel.livejournal.com]

I can tolerate skirts in the summer. They can be practical.

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

I'm taking a load of them to Ft. Jackson with me for wear in my free time. It's hot down there and I don't wear shorts as a rule.

[garpu.livejournal.com]

Lily maiden person teaches Suzuki method. Didn't need to read the rest of it. It's good for getting tiny kids started, but it sucks as anything other than that.

A friend of a friend dresses in full Victorian garb almost all the time, but she also works for one of the big tech companies out here. (That's how she can afford to dress that way...) She *chooses* to dress that way because she likes it, not because it's something someone else has told her she must do. (And most of her clothes I believe are either vintage or handmade reproductions.)

Sad thing is, I'm sure there are men out there, who'd think the people like the lily maiden chick are a dream come true.

[electorprince.livejournal.com]

I'm interested. I always have uses for thrall drones with no sense of giving me lip. Tell Pops I'll take his sweet little Mind Flayer victim off his hands and give her the life she'd deserve. After all, it'd be God's will that brought me into her life, and she into mine. ^_^

[kishiriadgr.livejournal.com]

Well then, I suggest you join the Knights of Columbus in advance. Mind Flayer Victim's Catholicism makes mine look downright Christmas/Easter.

[electorprince.livejournal.com]

I'm not eligible for the Knights of Columbus, though I could probably put in a bid for the Freemasons. . .if I didn't think they were hilariously insidious.