Diario de Tepintzin

Seriously, what could I really do for it? My parents sent me a $50 Target card, which I used to buy a new, larger coffee maker.

High point of the day was Sigyn coming over after she was done with her trial. (She won.). She changed into a pair of my shorts from Woman Within, and I ordered dinner from Guadalajara Grill. The sauce from my enchilada-style burrito slopped all over the place so things were messy but they still tasted good. Dessert was a pint of Rebel keto ice cream, Cookie Dough flavour. A friend had recommended the brand, and Sig is doing keto, so I thought it'd be fun to try. Tasted like--ice cream!

The previous senior rabbi from Temple Emanu-El, Rabbi Samuel Cohon, now heads a synagogue called Beit Simcha. Since my Hebrew name is Simcha Devorah, I thought it was very nice for them to name a synagogue after me. He's an actual Kabbalist, and his class on The Zohar resumed on August 11. I paid for the six-class session and got started. I do have a hardcover 5-volume Zohar, although it's not the premiere version they are using. They generously supply a scan of the pages they're going over.

Between that and Daf Yomi (reading the entire Talmud a page a day) I am living up to my wish to become a full time mystic and Torah scholar.

I received my Neo2, and in a week I've gotten 2000 words down. I'm in love. For some reason, the feel of the keyboard just encourages me to keep writing, and the lack of distractions is really key.

I also bought a basic Kindle 10th gen and that is helping me read, since there's no pesky messages from Gmail, FaceBook, etc sliding down onto my screen as I read.

Low-tech is very cool, but hand-writing is too slow for creativity.

Arizona is one of the hot spots for Covid-19 in the U.S. This week I have no reasons to go out, so the goals are writing, cooking, and reading. I can get exercise in here.

Oh! I've been lusting after couches by Joybird for ages. I realized a solution might be to get a stretch-velvet cover for my current $40 used sofa. So now my couch is light blue velvet and it makes me super happy to look at every day.

What was good about having Koba over here: she wasn't stuck indoors with her 88 year old mom, she was stuck inside with me. This means that we watched all the same movies and news shows while drinking copious amounts of booze. We cooked, making salmon with herb butter, Indian lentils and spinach, banana bread, and other things.

But it's also well over 100 degrees, and most attractions are closed anyway. We looked at the lemurs, meerkat pups, and baby elephant via the Reid Park Zoo website. I wish I could have offered more fun, but between the temperature and the closures, there wasn't much to be had.

Yesterday, I drove Koba back to San Diego, then turned around and went back. We drove from Tucson to Jacumba in sunshine, and there was a thick marine layer below us. It was like flying downward into clouds and rain. San Diego was dark as Tartarus, damp, and cool. I dropped K off, said hi to her mom and used the restroom, then returned to my old neighborhood to fill up the car.

I thought it would be interesting to drive through the alley behind my former condo to see how I felt when I did. They're painting over some of the murals I used to like, elaborating on others. There is a black Camaro parked in my space. Carol's car was there of course. I thought about how depressed I'd be if I still lived in that condo, so small and with darkness looming over the city.

I hit the gas and got out of San Diego and into the mountains and the sun as quickly as I could.

In the wake of Memorial Day, and lots of people going to the beach in San Diego, COVID-19 is spiking. I'm back in isolation.

My friend Koba, who I've mentioned before, is going nuts in isolation with her 88 year old mom, so I'm fetching her in SD tomorrow. I'm turning right around and returning to Tucson once I've got them, except for a trip to Daiso. Cause except for my friends, Daiso is the only thing I miss about that city.

Whatever. People vandalized a police station, which I always support, and set a dumpster on fire, literally. Governor Ducey has declared a week-long curfew at 8 pm.

I did go to the gym on Friday. Planet Fitness was almost empty and every other exercise machine is switched off and marked, so lots of social distancing.

Today, Sunday, I have a sore throat and am physically feeble. While it is impossible that I got sick *from* going to the gym, I hope I wasn't starting to gestate something and possibly made someone else sick. Mind you, the common cold is still very much a Thing, and I'm not showing any Covid symptoms beyond those two.

I'm feeling pretty blue about things, though not depressed, just unhappy. So I'll sign off.

Today's mail yielded a surprise: my $1200 stimulus check. I honestly had not been expecting one. I am disgusted though by the fact that in the 'memo' section it says "Economic Stimulus Payment: President Donald J. Trump". Why don't you just label it "Campaign bribe"? I hate that slimy shit from an infected intestine so bad. I'm not excited about Biden, but he's still going to be better than Trump.

I immediately paid off the balance on a credit card. I'm going to have some fees associated with the condo sale still. I wanted to get myself something though, and since going to Target for fun is irresponsible, I thought about what to get for the apartment. I need bathmats for the floor, so I ordered two and some soap dishes that will drain and keep my soap from getting mushy.

Arizona is supposed to start opening for business in 8 days, on the 15th. The state is doing a testing blitz, but only of people who have symptoms and have been recommended by their doctors. We're edging towards 10,000 cases, being well over 9,000, and over 400 deaths. I'm just going to remain socially isolated. Besides going to the garbage bins and the mailbox, I only leave the apartment maybe once a week. It's onerous, but it's the right thing to do.

Arizona is at over 7000 coronovirus cases with coming up on 300 deaths. I'm hoping that the summer temperatures, which have already hit triple digits, will scorch the virus. We'll see.

I got my sewing machine up and running, but haven't gotten the mask kits to get going on that project. But still, it's up and running.

Today's cooking was rigatoni Florentine. I've also made matzoh brei (kind of French toast made with matzoh).

Both TV antennas are working really well; I actually have CBS finally! This means that I can watch all the football come football season--if it happens.

I can't be the only one whose attention span is like 15 minutes right now. Nonetheless, I've been reading books and am currently watching "The Expanse" on Prime Video.

Here's a quarantine dream for you all....I was living with Svengine Karinsdatter in the Marana house, but it was in a city. Across the street was a store called (some beverage) and Pumpkin Pie. I can't remember what the beverage was, but I didn't think that it'd go well with pumpkin pie and I hoped that wasn't all they served because that would not be a good business model.

(tw section: home invasion, unsuccessful rape)

That night, someone opened the door into the master bedroom (which doesn't exist) from the Pumpkin Pie store. He came over and grabbed me out of bed and started violently kissing me. I bit his lips but it didn't put him off. I kept trying to scream to Svengine Karinsdatter, who was in the bedroom at the other end of the house. I broke away and ran to her room, followed by the guy and the gang who had come in after him. We pulled out our firearms and chased them all off, but I really wanted to pistol whip the guy who had tried to rape me. Svengine held him down but I couldn't hit him hard enough. I didn't know if my arm was too weak or I was subconsciously unable to harm a person. We let him go.

(end tw section)

I berated myself for being unable to pistol whip the guy. Svengine was supportive. I hated myself for my weakness. We went to dinner at a steak house with a friend who doesn't exist IRL, but I was so upset that I couldn't focus even on the menu, nothing looked good. I excused myself and went to buy ice cream (which normally I don't eat). I went to the Pumpkin Pie place, which now was an ice cream place, serving Baskin Robbins. I somehow muddled my way to making an order, a scoop of vanilla ice cream surrounded by a round shortbread cookie with pretty scalloped edges. The bill was $40 and I freaked out, refused to pay. I left and went to an Italian ice cream place where they bitched about the Pumpkin Pie shop. I got a scoop of ice cream, but the money I had in my wallet was now all counterfeit. It was in denominations like 7, 3, and 8.

I wandered out into the mall. There had not been a mall before. I tried to get Svengine on my phone, and told her to meet me by the closed up HMV. I was in front of a kid's pirate-themed ice cream place, and bowls of it kept vanishing into thin air, claimed by ghosts. I got a bowl of ice cream again in order to justify sitting there, because they were closing up. Svengine finally showed up and I fed her some of my sundae and she said it was good.

Other detail I should mention is that every person I met I told the story of the home invasion to. Everyone was sympathetic. My mood was one of failure, and of hating myself for my weakness.

Still not going anywhere. I call my parents once a week to let them know I'm still alive. Conversations trail off into, "Most of my days are just reading and watching TV, ya know?"

Currently obsessed with the horror podcast "The Magnus Archives". I am very jaded when it comes to horror. It's possibly my favourite genre, so I'm immune to most scares. TMA DELIVERS though, possibly because it's all audio and my imagination fills the gaps. I skipped at least one episode because I am not afraid of spiders, I kind of like them, and I want to stay that way.

My sewing experiment failed because I removed the bobbin case and the entire assembly fell out. I don't have much emotional energy to spend on things like that. I've discovered I enjoy messing with electronic tech; give me a smartphone or media machine I've never seen before and I'll play with it for hours until I make it work the way I want. Physical machinery? Nope. Will try again later.

Everything is unpacked, a month after moving in. I have it 90% organized. The second bedroom is my "monster zone" with all the miscellaneous stuff. I sorted it into bath, office, and kitchen yesterday and will start filing the bath and kitchen stuff into their respective rooms after Shabbat. Office stuff will remain in the second bedroom.

Also, no stimulus cheque for this girl. Since I receive a VA pension, it's up to the VA to pay me it--if they will at all. Good things I wasn't counting on it. In fact, I've been agnostic as to if it would ever come through for me.

Seriously, I think this might be my favourite living space ever. There's so much wall space for my art (hung up my gold-tone Lady with Mandolin tonight), and the cats adore all the windows.

Cooking wise, I've made Korean glass noodles with ground turkey, vegetables, and Asian seasonings. Tomorrow will be lentil stew.

I will be live streaming Shabbat prayers on Friday at 16:23 PST. It will be on Zoom; connection info to come if anyone is interested.

Field trip to Total Wine & More tomorrow morning.